Greetings From Jamaica, Wish You Were Queer by SanGiovanni Mari

Author:SanGiovanni, Mari [SanGiovanni, Mari]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: General Fiction
ISBN: 9781612940359
Publisher: Bywater Books
Published: 2006-11-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

Fig Newton’s Law

“Your Dad is happy we finally met?” she asked.

I took a large gulp of wine and decided to come clean about some of what I’d done, or risk looking like the liar I was. “I have a confession. I would’ve told you before now, but I feel pretty stupid about it. I’m actually a fan of your work, and my family knows that. I’m embarrassed to say I may have expressed wanting to meet you . . . a few times.”

Lorn raised her eyebrows at me but she didn’t look too concerned. Instead, she listened with interest. Had I imagined a little sparkle in her eye? Or maybe meeting freaks amused her.

“OK, so maybe I mentioned it more than a few times. I hope that doesn’t sound strange to you . . . now that we’ve met, I feel a little silly about the whole thing. And, like everything else I tell my family, I really wish I’d shut my mouth about it.” I sipped my drink again, waiting for her to say something. My heart pounded so heavily I was concerned the wine I was holding might show the tremors. I quickly added, “Don’t be too flattered, though . . . I’m not that hard to impress.”

Her eyebrows lifted again.

“No, really,” I said, as I looked around for something trivial in the room to be impressed about and spotted a half-full piña colada at the next table. “You’d probably never guess I’m the type to actually tear up over that piña colada song . . . you know, that dramatic third verse, when the wife answers the husband’s personal ad to meet in a bar called O’Malley’s, ‘to plan their escape’ . . . When she says: ‘Oh, it’s you,’ I get the damned chills every time. Really.”

She laughed, and my relief and the sound of her coupled to soothe me. I swore a few cherubs and unicorns must have fluttered through the sky to celebrate me getting off the hook . . . or maybe, they fluttered by just to get closer to the sound of her laughter. Christ . . . when had I gotten it so bad for this woman? Had one of those cherubs dropped something in my drink? While I was taking my victory lap with the chubby-winged baby and a horse outfitted with a horn shaped like a long Italian pastry shell on his head, she stopped me dead in my tracks by saying, “As long as you’re not a stalker.”

Although my stalking days seemed far behind me, the vivid memories of staking out her studio with binoculars, notebooks, and Fig Newtons flooded my brain. The thought occurred to me that the Fig Newtons were aptly named after the guy who dictated the laws of motion (example: when one car hits another car). My face was suddenly on fire at the memory of my car tapping into the back of her Lexus, and the insurance company’s subsequent reporting of it to the police.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.